Monday, June 8, 2015

A Shameless Post About Confidence

I can never remember where to place my hand on my hip so my arm doesn't look fat in pictures.

My hair has an easier time making decisions than I do. (Too bad that decision always involves frizz)

My muscles are not perfectly defined.

Some days I have no chin, and then there are other days that I have 2-3 chins. 

I hate spending more than 10 minutes on my makeup and more than 5 minutes on my hair. (Most days, I don't even wear make up). 

Some days, my stomach is content to lay subtle and is easily hidden by clothing, and other days it has secret competitions with my arms to see how far it can extend from my body.  

That list is nowhere near exhaustive, but because I am a normal female, I notice my flaws. Some days, I embrace my flaws and feel beautiful, and other days those same flaws distract me from what really matters and let me caught up in comparisons, jealousy, and frustration. 

Confidence in myself or in my body does not mean I love 100% about myself 100% of the time. True body confidence also does not look at my own body type and think it is better because of it's significant curves or lack-thereof. 

Confidence in my body is also not measured by the amount of men that pursue or compliment me. Because I am married, this looks a whole lot different than when I was single, but I understand the desire to be wanted or found beautiful whether it is just from your husband, or if you're not married, from other men.  (I do believe true confidence in a marriage context involves not desiring and seeking attention from other men, while at the same time not expecting your confidence and worth to come 100% from your husband. True confidence is found in ourselves.)

My confidence comes from multiple places. 

My confidence comes from making good choices for my health and well-being. When I eat a nutrient-dense diet and exercise (even minimally), I feel better about myself. My mind is clearer, my body heals faster, and there is a natural confidence that comes from that feeling of "I'm treating myself well."

My confidence comes from accepting myself for who I am. By making peace with myself, flaws and all, I am able to give a little grace to my body and all that it does every day to keep me going. 

My confidence comes from other women who support and encourage me-- women who struggle with some of the same things I do and find strength in the midst of it, women who have struggled with much harder obstacles and overcome them with grace and beauty, and women who lift me up and point me to Something greater.

My confidence comes from the freedom found in Christ---a freedom that shows me that there is so much more than outward beauty and a love that transforms all the ugliness inside and makes it beautiful. 

My confidence comes from my inability to always hold it together, because I fail, all of the time. My confidence comes from my ability to trust the One who holds me close through it all. 

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